Tag Archives: wtf

Token Resistance

I keep hearing about how such and such political activist or revolutionary prisoner is on a ‘hunger strike’ for whatever movement or injustice is plaguing them.

What a crock.

I’m certainly not belittling political activists or the movements they fight for, but I belittle the inanity and token bullshitness of this act.

Take for example just today Al-Baghdadi, the former PM of Gaddhafi, has gone on a hunger-strike in the Algerian prison he is being held in to protest his extradition.

Does anyone care whether this dipshit eats? I certainly don’t; Libya and the freedom fighters probably do not; if he wants to hurry the date of his execution and remove the need for a long and drawn out trial, then by all means, please commit suicide and go straight to hell.

I mean, who is going to care if this dude dies?

And it’s the same even on the flip-side, when it is a sympathetic character like a political activist who is throwing around hunger-threats like a toddler who threatens to hold her breath until she gets her way.

Angry Arabiya for example, a Bahraini political activist who went on a “hunger-strike” to protest the arrest and illegal detention of her father, husband, and brother-in-law.

As much as I felt bad for her and her family, what the french-toast did she think was going to happen?! It is apparent that the Bahraini government did not/does not care what happens to her or her family. They obviously weren’t going to give a damn if she died, by her own hand, when they have shown themselves perfectly willing to shoot protesters and move along.

And she’s no Gandhi with millions of followers ready, willing, and able to stage a mass uprising if she died, she would have simply been another drop in an ocean of people killed by evil regimes, and people would have mourned, and then forgotten about her.

I, personally, could only stomach a couple of days of her forced drama. “For the sake of my family and my little baby daughter, who begged me, I am drinking a cup of water a day.”

So, why? Why do people threaten or enact hunger-strikes if they are such wastes of time?

I think it’s because they can. Because it’s easy to fake. It’s easy to do. It’s easy to get out of.

But, can anyone name me an instance where a hunger-strike worked? Not including Gandhi, of course, because in his instance it was fear of his millions of followers mass-murdering the British if he died. Of course that doesn’t belittle his hunger-strike, because it worked, but other than him?

Maybe there have been, but for me the “hunger-strike” is the new hipster form of “protesting” and I think very little of it.

I’ll think I’ll hunger-strike the fact that I’m not a millionaire.

Addition: So, I’ve done a little bit more reading into Angry Arabiya (Zainab alKhawaja) and really….

On her twitter bio she states “. . .  I hate Arab dictators, and American neo-colonialism.”

And yet as soon as her father was beaten and detained (may Allah grant his release and the release of his compatriots), she sat down and wrote a letter to President Obama.  Reference.

It’s shit like that which really pisses me off.

Of Mice and M… Cats.

My mom, despite her cat allergy, wanted me to bring Zuzu to the states with us in order to be a mouser.

That means then that Zuzu is allowed to live here contingent on her ability to catch mice. (Officially- but I know that no matter how much Mr. MM threatens to throw her out he secretly loves her and never would. Also I’d kill him.)

The reason my mom wants a mouser is because last winter she had a horrible infestation of mice and she’s expecting a repeat invasion this winter as well. *shudder* We all were hoping that simply the smell and presence of Zuzu would keep the mice at bay but no, sadly not.

One night we were all sitting and watching a movie when we heard the tinkling of Zuzu’s belled collar punctuated by an odd squeaking noise that sounded something like an ungreased wheel. We three turned to see Zuzu march into the livingroom with a mouse in her mouth.

ZUZU’S A MOUSER!

…well sort of.

She seemed startled by our sudden attention and she ran up into our bedroom with the mouse in tow.

Into our bedroom.

With the  mouse.

@&#^$^#&!@

Into our bedroom where she then proceeded to lose, find, lose again, find again, and ultimately lose the mouse.

*sigh*

It did help us identify a mouse bolthole that we were able to plug up and we’re hoping she injured it enough for it to die later.

But what makes me the most frustrated is that my darling cat will do the famous death shake while eating her dry food- and thereby spread bits of crunched cat chow far and wide- but she can’t see to snap the neck of a mouse with the same maneuver.

Arg.

On the one hand I’m hoping she figures out that mice are to be killed and how to do so, but on the other I’m hoping the mouse that got whooped will go back to his buddies and spread the horror story so that none of them come back.

I know it’s a pipe dream but what can I say?

My cat catches mice…

And then lets them go.

Omg I Hate Mosquitoes

Let me just say this first: I’m from Minnesota. If there is any state in the US that knows about mosquitoes, it would be Minnesota (ok and pretty much every state in the south-eastern sector.)

But I’ve never dealt with mosquitoes like this.

When I first arrived in Egypt this past summer and we went up to Alexandria and Marsa Matruh I lost entire nights of sleep and half of the enjoyment of my honeymoon to those bastards. They left welts the size of quarters and even half-dollars in some cases all over my body and they would itch for weeks! Not days, weeks! The red marks faded to dark brown and stayed for at least 1-2 months after the initial bite. I was miserable. I made Mr MM miserable about my misery. And I have probably bought enough bottles of Raid mosquito spray to douse a small nation.

Yet they still come.

Summer was absolutely completely awful. I could barely sleep, I would spray Raid until my tongue went numb (thats what inhaling the spray does to me) just in the hopes that I could sleep a full night. The first thing I would do in the morning would be to canvass my house with the bottle in my hand hunting any mosquitoes down and an empty bottle of Raid would leave me huddled on my bed with a blanket around me up to my ears.

Everyone promised that after Ramadan the weather would cool down and the mosquitoes would go away. It cooled down, but they didn’t go away. And then two weeks after that they disappeared. Completely.

I thought I had been delivered! I went for almost three weeks without buying a single can of spray, I slept comfortably through the night and I started to enjoy going outside in the evenings.

But then they came back.

And then they went away.

And now they’re back again.

I’m losing my mind here. Everytime I ask Mr MM when the mosquitoes are going to go away he always tells me “next month.” I just cannot take it anymore.

In our apartment the plug-in mosquito repellent does not work so I am pretty much confined to using the spray no matter how obviously desructive it is to our health. And while we do sleep underneath mosquito netting now many times I will be kept up all night by a number of them that have gotten underneath the netting. Once, in the space of a half hour, I was bit 12 times!

While now that it is winter the number of mosquitoes is reduced dramatically, they are still there and driving me nuts. And I even think that the mosquitoes now are a smaller and harder to see race of them that leave smaller bites.

I’m not sure what else I can do. For now we have a nightly ritual of my putting up the net and then dousing the bed with spray 20 minutes before we lay down to sleep. Its fairly effective, but I just want them to go away.

I hate mosquitoes more than I’ve ever hated anything in my life.

On-site Entertainment

Currently there are Egyptian construction workers plastering right outside my work window. One particularly loquacious gentleman is alternately singing balady wedding songs and haranguing his co-workers in very colorful Arabic.

He’s got a nice voice if you care for the I’ve-been-smoking-cleopatras-since-I-was-born kind.

Oh Abdel-Haleem, where art thou?

Yup, one of those days

wtf

The lyrics to an annoyingly awesome bollywood song that is stuck in my head and I can’t sing out loud because, well, I don’t speak the language so in my mind its more like:

“chalne lage mohabbatu *mumble mumble* da da da daah silsile *mumble mumble melody mumble* kehna hi kyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaa…..”

Lyrics for Kehna Hi Kya:

Gumsum gumsum gup chup, gumsum gup chup – 2
(Silent and secretive, silent and secretive)

Halchal halchal ho gayi teri, honth hai tere chup

(You are all shaken, your lips are silent)

Khalbal khalbal ho gayi teri, baithi hai tu gupchup
(You are all disturbed, you are sitting silently)

Pyaare pyaare chehre lekar dediya ishaara

(With your lovely face you’ve given us hints)

Dekha teri aankhon mein hai sapna koi pyaara
(We have seen that there is some sweet dream in your eyes)

Humse gori naa tu sharma, kehde humse zara – 2

(Don’t be shy of us, tell us a little)

–FEMALE–
Kehna hi kya yeh nain ek anjaan se jo mile
(What is there to say, my eyes met with a stranger)

Chalne lage mohabbat ke jaise yeh silsile

(As if a love story has started)

Armaan naye aise dil mein khile, jinko kabhi main naa jaanoon
(Wishes that I never knew before are blooming in my heart)

Voh humse, hum unse kabhi naa mile, kaise mile dil naa jaanoon

(If he and I never met, I don’t know how our hearts would have met)

Ab kya kare, kya naam le, kaise unhe main pukaaroon
(What do I do now, what is his name, how can I call him?)

Kehna hi kya yeh nain ek anjaan se jo mile

(What is there to say, my eyes met with a stranger)

Chalne lage mohabbat ke jaise yeh silsile
(As if a love story has started)

Armaan naye aise dil mein khile, jinko kabhi main naa jaanoon

(Wishes that I never knew before are blooming in my heart)

Voh humse, hum unse kabhi naa mile, kaise mile dil naa jaanoon
(If he and I never met, I don’t know how our hearts would have met)

Ab kya kare, kya naam le, kaise unhe main pukaaroon
(What do I do now, what is his name, how can I call him?)

Pehli hi nazar mein kuch hum, kuch tum ho jaate hai yun gum
(At first sight him and I got a little lost)

Nainon se barse rim jhim, rim jhim humpe pyaar ka saavan
(A shower of love fell dripping from our eyes)

Sharm thodi thodi humko aaye to nazarein jhuk jaayen
(When I got a little shy my eyes turned downward)

Sitam thoda thoda humpe shok hawa bhi kar jaaye
(A breeze of wind also gave me a little torture)

Aisi chali, aanchal ude, dil mein ek toofaan uthe
(It blew such that my sari flew, a storm brewed in my heart)

Hum to lut gaye khade hi khade
(I was totally taken while standing)

Kehna hi kya yeh nain ek anjaan se jo mile
(What is there to say, my eyes met with a stranger)

Chalne lage mohabbat ke jaise yeh silsile

(As if a love story has started)

Armaan naye aise dil mein khile, jinko kabhi main naa jaanoon
(Wishes that I never knew before are blooming in my heart)

Voh humse, hum unse kabhi naa mile, kaise mile dil naa jaanoon

(If he and I never met, I don’t know how our hearts would have met)

Ab kya kare, kya naam le, kaise unhe main pukaaroon
(What do I do now, what is his name, how can I call him?)

–CHORUS–

Gumsum gumsum gup chup, gumsum gup chup – 2
(Silent and secretive, silent and secretive)

Halchal halchal ho gayi teri, honth hai tere chup
(You are all shaken, your lips are silent)

Khalbal khalbal ho gayi teri, baithi hai tu gupchup

(You are all disturbed, you are sitting silently)

Pyaare pyaare chehre lekar dediya ishaara
(With your lovely face you’ve given us hints)

Dekha teri aankhon mein hai sapna koi pyaara

(We have seen that there is some sweet dream in your eyes)

Humse gori naa tu sharma, kehde humse zara – 2
(Don’t be shy of us, tell us a little)

–FEMALE–
In honthon ne maanga sargam, sargam tu aur tera hi pyaar hai

(These lips asked for a song, the song is you and your love)

Aankhen dhoonde hai jisko har dam, har dam tu aur tera hi pyaar hai
(What my eyes search for at every moment is you and your love)

Mehfil mein bhi tanha hai dil aise, dil aise
(Even in a crowd my heart is alone like this)

Tujhko kho naa de, darrta hai yeh aise, yeh aise
(My heart fears losing you like this)

Aaj mili aisi khushi, jhoom uthi duniya yeh meri

(I got such happiness today, my whole world is dancing)

Tumko paaya to paayi zindagi
(When I found you I found life)

Kehna hi kya yeh nain ek anjaan se jo mile
(What is there to say, my eyes met with a stranger)

Chalne lage mohabbat ke jaise yeh silsile
(As if a love story has started)

Armaan naye aise dil mein khile, jinko kabhi main naa jaanoon
(Wishes that I never knew before are blooming in my heart)

Voh humse, hum unse kabhi naa mile, kaise mile dil naa jaanoon
(If he and I never met, I don’t know how our hearts would have met)

Ab kya kare, kya naam le, kaise unhe main pukaaroon
(What do I do now, what is his name, how can I call him?)

Kehna hi kya yeh nain ek anjaan se jo mile
(What is there to say, my eyes met with a stranger)

Chalne lage mohabbat ke jaise yeh silsile
(As if a love story has started)

Kehna hi kya

(What is there to say)

Road Humps

Me driving through Maadi/Nasr City/Greater Cairo three months ago:

Me (as I hit an unseen and unecessary speed hump going way too fast): “$&$^#@^!!!!! Why don’t they paint the damn things? Or put up road signs ‘Beware, we will f%*&$ up your car in T minus two seconds?'”

Mr MM: “Maalesh habibty, welcome to Egypt.”

Mr MM driving through Maadi/Nasr City/Greater Cairo last night:

Mr MM (as he hits an unseen and unecessary speed hump going way too fast):“$&$^#@^!!!!! Why don’t they paint the damn things?”

Me: Maalesh habibi; smile, you’re in Egypt.

Seriously though, they put them up, they make them SO HIGH that every single car scrapes the undercarriage even when driving at an approximate 2 centimeters an hour, and they don’t paint them or put up signs. In fact I believe they do everything they can to make them blend into the usually lumpy, cracked, and uneven pavement.

So when you’re driving back to the shop to fix a broken tailpipe, smile, you’re in Egypt.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrr

Im such a wuss

I'm such a wuss

I am. actually. cold.

I’ve shamed my Minnesotan heritage.

Seriously though, in the dead of winter Arizona was not even this cold and its still only October. If I survived a God-awful hot summer, I at least deserve an easy winter like in Phoenix.

Sheesh.

Hypocrisy 1 Logic 0

Multiple times now I’ve seen the video for a famous Arabic song where the singer is the driver and his love-interest is the indifferent woman he’s driving. She is, it being an Arabic video of course, dressed in something slinky and low-cut and wearing probably five pounds worth of make-up and hair extensions. Where is the hypocrisy in this?

There are multiple birds-eye-view shots from above that pretty much aim right down into her cleavage. Whatever right? Then comes the portion of the video where she withdraws a cigarette and  smokes it…

THAT PORTION IS BLURRED OUT!!!!!

Massive amounts of cleavage? Sure, why not.

A woman smoking? BLASPHEMY!

Sometimes I just don’t understand the Middle East.

I know I’m going to get back to the US and watch movies I watched in the theaters here and find massive portions of kissing/sex scenes that were not in the version I first saw.

No big deal, the only time I noticed it was watching ‘Wanted’ and the editing job was REALLY BAD.

Oh, and another thing. Songs in Arabic that include bad words or sexually explicit lyrics are properly banned here, but it is extremely common to walk into restaurants, be waiting for the movie to begin, or be shopping in stores and hear uncensored versions of 50 Cent and Eminem rap songs. Every other word is a cuss word and the entire song is about chasing a particularly fine piece of ass.

Seriously people, just because its in English doesn’t make it ok.