Tag Archives: ass-hats and other monsters

Dawah By Dong*

In this title I am talking about the men who are intent on spreading Islam with their man-parts, by dating and eventually converting poor, misguided women in the West.

I hesitated to write this post, despite my passion on the subject, because I, myself, was involved with a Muslim man when I converted to Islam. I’ve mentioned this before and am mentioning it again in the interest of full disclosure. I didn’t convert for this man, however, as evidenced by the fact that I rejected his marriage proposals, broke up with him soon after converting, and moved out of state to escape him, my family, and my old life in order to re-discover myself in my new, chosen, identity.  I had also been bumping up against, discovering, and delving into Islam for four years before this relationship so the brother was not my first introduction to the religion. InshAllah he will get reward though because he did help me cross that final threshold.

I also hesitated because I anticipate that this will be, possibly, an offensive topic for many out there because I very rarely, and I mean rarely, meet women who converted on their own, without being in a relationship, or already being married to a Muslim man. I identify myself as someone who came into Islam by myself, although in fact I do wallow in a gray area between due to this relationship. I can neither disregard nor completely credit the contribution of this brother for my being Muslim. But I generally count the two years between my conversion and my marriage as sufficient to identify myself as someone who came into Islam without being married to a Muslim man. You may disagree with that as you wish.

Many, many converts cannot say the same thing though, and I fear that I will marginalize or degrade their decision to convert by what I want to say in this post. I do not mean to. There is nothing to say that your Islam is less valuable because you married your husband before, or soon after, you converted.

My object of disdain is the Muslim man who dates easy, empty-headed women and then uses the leverage of “I can’t marry you because you’re not Muslim” to break it off when the poor girl gets too clingy. And who justifies his rutting around by saying that he believes she is interested in Islam and he wants to guide her. But then uses aforementioned excuse to break it off when he tires of shagging her.

And there are men who date women who aren’t even interested in Islam and then, when both are invested in the relationship, put pressure on their girlfriends to convert because he won’t marry, and make babies with, a non-Muslim. This is a very sad and unfortunate situation because the women are forced to choose between losing the man that they love or converting to a religion they don’t believe in.

I would be surprised if you, the reader (assuming that you are Muslim and you travel in Muslim circles,)  had never known of, or heard of, a situation where this had happened. The woman breaks down and “converts,” the man marries her, they pop out a few kids and 10 years down the road the woman is miserably unhappy with being a Muslim, covering, and dealing with the expectations so they divorce. It’s a bitter divorce, and of course she leaves Islam, and a year later the kids are going to Friday prayer with dad and Sunday school with mom.

This is why dawah by dong is fatally flawed even though it is the primary method by which many women convert.

Obviously I am ignoring the simple fact that offering his man-parts to ‘ze ladies’ is haraam. I’m ignoring it simply because they do.

I don’t know how many times I’ve seen Muslim men with non-Muslim women. And very, very, very few of them plan on marrying these women. They’re just playing around until they save enough plata to bag a virgin from their home country. The kufar women are simply for getting his rocks off before then. Sometimes the man is afraid enough of Allah that he marries the chick Islamically so that the sexy-times are not a sin, but the final outcome is the same.

Raise your hand if you’re a non-Muslim and you’ve heard that Muslim men are skeezes? Heck, raise your hand if you’re Muslim and you’ve heard, or seen, that Muslim men are skeezes?

*raises hand*

But behind this are a number, a large number, of women who met their husbands at work/school, became romantically involved, learned about Islam, converted, married, spawned, and are living happily ever after as content Muslimahs. MashAllah.

But oh, oh, how many failures there are. How many men there are who use it as an excuse. Even as an excuse to marry a SECOND wife. To “help” some woman who is thinking about converting, or recently converted, stay on the path.

Because God knows that we women aren’t strong enough to keep a religion without a man around to remind us.

And what a noble cause this gentleman is embarking on: saving the converts of the world, four women at  a time.

Spreading the good word of Islam with his “sword.”


Islam is beautiful enough to spread without blackmailing a woman into it.

Women are competent enough to discover how to be a good Muslim without a man to teach her.

And if you are interested in Islam, contact a local mosque. Or go ahead and ask that dreamy-eyed brown boy in your organic chem class about Islam but don’t, do not, absolutely do not tie YOUR Islam to him or anyone else.

Make it your own. And then marry him.

But this method of spreading Islam needs to stop.

Though I doubt it ever will.

I’d flay the skin off my son if I ever caught him doing this, although I would support him giving a Quran, advice, or the number to the local masjid to the pretty young thing who approached him in organic chem.

But I’d make sure she wanted Islam for herself before I consented to a marriage.

Brothers, be responsible.

Ladies, be smart.

And please forgive me if I have offended anyone, it wasn’t my intention. I just had to get this off of my chest.



*I apologize for such a crude way of putting it, but its apt.


Addendum: There are many good, righteous brothers who seek to marry converts because they like the idea that a woman, who was interested in Islam, became a Muslim and they want the reward of helping her learn Islam. Sometimes they help a woman, who has approached them with questions, and the relationship becomes romantic before she converts and after she does they then marry. This situation, from my experience, is the majority of the cases of how women convert to Islam. Its close to the line but doesn’t cross it, and may Allah bless them.

My husband married me after I had been Muslim for 2 years and he is happy to say this whenever anyone asks. Alhumdulillah.

We’re Just Rabbits, Ya’ll

This video made me LOL like I have never LOL’ed before.

I’d like to make a list of my WTF?!?s, LOLs, and other observations for you:

1.) We just have more sex.
2.)  Really?! Ahem, your agenda is showing- you might want to tuck it back in.
3.) I know its supposed to be scary but most of it sounds pretty good to me.
4.) An Islamic Republic means governmentally Islamic and, good God, we don’t even have that in Muslim countries.
5.) France an Islamic Republic in 39 years?!?!?! WTF? Did Nostradamus tell you that? Did he give you a specific day and time because I want to make sure I request that day off from work.
6.) Please, for the sake of my inner grammar-Nazi, study the grammatical difference btween ‘Islamic’ and ‘Muslim’. I beg you.
7.) Does anyone else wonder how much it sucked to be a Muslim in the US in 1970? 100,000? Sounds low to me. I question your numbers good sir, actually ALL of your numbers. Eight babies per family? They don’t even pop that many out in Egypt.
8.) Why are you using the national flag of Turkey as the “Islamic” flag? I kept getting confused, thinking you were referring specifically to Turks. Side note: Why is Turkey’s flag the crescent and star? Aren’t they pushing that whole secular thing harder than any other country except for Lebanon?
9.) How desperate are you guys that you now count Latinos as on your side “culturally”? Must be why they are a “if we count Latinos” add-on. Anything goes in war against us Islamics, huh?
And drum-roll please……

10.) Nya-nya-na-na-boo-boo!!1! *blows raspberry*

I guess the cat has been let out of the bag, we might as well be open and honest about it now. Yes, we do intend to take over the world simply by out-copulating all you Christians.

So, uh, get to it. Knock some boots. Bump some uglies. Rattle the headboard. Spawn, dammit, SPAWN!!! Cuz unless you are Mormon, or you are these people, every Muslim family in France is having 6.8 more babies than you.

And that is your ‘Islamic’ PSA of the day.

White Men and Shotguns

A white man with white supremacist connections shoots up the Holocaust museum and the media forgets to mention the fact that most white supremacy groups are heavily tied into Christianity.

I’m totally not saying that Christianity is terroristic but had this been a Muslim who did it everyone would be up in arms about Islam being a hate-filled religion and all Muslims hating Jews.

There’s a double-standard here. Can someone please recognize it?

Also looking at serial killers, mass shooters, and wars: the scariest shiz on earth is a middle-aged WASP  man with a gun.

Poligion and Relitics

Being driven to work today we passed again the front gate for the Ministry of Defense in Heliopolis (or is it Nasr City? I can never tell where each begins and ends) and I was struck by the inherent irony of the gate decor which is comprised of random pharaonic gods and a large replica of a pharaoh holding the severed heads of his four enemies by the hair. I think that there should be a word stronger than irony for this but I can’t think of what it would be. Sardonic reality? Anyways, we’ll get back to the reason I find it ironic later but first I was contemplating the obsequious use of pharaonic symbolism in all governmental buildings. To me it always seems somehow incongruous in such a religious society but then I reminded myself, as I always must, that Egypt is a secular country ruled by a democratically elected pharaoh president who puts politics before religion- except for the fact that the laws are based on shari’ah (loosely)- so of course they would use such religiously-safe symbolism as that of the mutually despised pharaonic civilization. Its least likely to ruffle feathers.

But then I was struck by an errant thought: I was once schooled by a sister, whose particular style of naseeha came with nausea, chafing, and rectal bleeding, who told me that it was haram to vote for any non-Muslim and therefore I had committed a grave sin by voting for Obama or voting in the American elections at all. (Side note: I know the man’s not Muslim but don’t I at least get some points for his name?) So, along that line of thinking isn’t it haram then to vote in any Egyptian elections? Have the 12 Egyptians brave enough to actually vote imperiled their souls?

And thinking further, is it halal to vote in ANY elections at all? What politician out there still has a soul and a connection to religion that doesn’t involve paying off priests and imams? Am I doomed to only voting for Kieth Ellison?

At least in Egypt we’re not given the choice and I have yet to meet an Egyptian who actually took the time to vote. Maybe Hosni’s doing us all a favor out of the goodness of his heart by not allowing us to vote in non-religious politics. That must be it- its for our own good.

And the irony of the gate is that it would be just as true if they had put Hosni’s face on that of the Pharaoh and the faces of the opposition leaders on the four heads of the conquered enemies. The only things this government hasn’t resurrected are the deifying of the pharaoh (they’re still working on it) and the marrying of half-brothers and sisters to keep the divine blood pure (but money and power only marries into money and power so its simply a matter of time.)

Feckin’ Thieves!

Today as I was getting out of the taxi to walk into the office I forgot that my cell-phone case/cover/pouch/whateveryoucallit was on my lap and it fell to the ground without my noticing. Near where I got out there was a man dusting and wiping down all of the cars either as part of his baweb job or for some other reason- you find a lot of poor people wiping down cars for spare change. I went about my usual route of going to the corner kiosk and buying a pepsi and then walking into the office and setting my stuff on the table when I realized it’s absence. I quickly went through my purse and then ran outside again to look for it. The whole thing took like three minutes.

The taxi driver had pulled up to the corner and was chatting with the office manager and I ran over to see if I left it on the seat. No luck. I ran into the street to see if it was still there. Nope. Then I remembered the man who had been wiping down the cars.

He was mysteriously about ten cars away, still wiping non-chalantly, however you could see that he had stopped wiping mid-car, and then skipped the ten cars to start over again.

I pointed him out and the taxi driver went over to him and came back thirty seconds later with my phone cover.


Bloody thief. He saw where it fell from, the taxi driver had parked his car so even if he hadn’t been able to stop me he could have given it to the driver, and I had walked right past the same spot a second time after buying my pepsi. He literally meant to keep it.

Ever wonder what is fundamentally wrong with Egypt? Thats it right there.

Worthless, scumbag, thieves.

And don’t a single person even say anything about being poor because in the end of life it doesn’t matter how much money we had if we were honest before GOD.

No matter that I have my phone case back, he will be judged by his intention which was to steal it. I hope when he fries he remembers why.

Also, if shariah law were still enforced he would have lost a hand.

My anger is not about the cell phone case itself. I could buy another one with only minor inconvenience. Its the principle that it was not only easy for him to return it, but that he LEFT THE AREA to hide what he did. As if he would escape notice and get away with it. I am pissed because he lacks the simple humanity of returning it.

In the states 99% of the time someone would have stopped me or ran to catch me to give it back. Remember that- every single one of you who read my blog and think that living in a “Muslim” country is so much more closer to “Islam” than living in a “pagan” or “unbelieving” country.

I have yet, I swear to you, to see the same level of Islam here as I saw almost daily in the United States of America.

Strike Two, You’re Out?

At this moment I have two very good Egyptian girlfriends who are having love problems. Basically both of them had been engaged once in the past and then had broken off the relationship when things didn’t work out, and both are now, or had recently been (respectively,) engaged a second time.

Lets give them underground names to preserve their anonymity (not that any of you know them anyways but whatevs): Ammena is currently engaged and Souad recently broke off her second engagement but has not told any of her extended family.

For those of us who were western-born (or raised) this is absolutely not an issue, painful and heartbreaking yes, but nothing that would induce us to raise any eyebrows. I mean heck, who doesn’t know someone who is triply or even quadruply divorced? Thats when things get a little hairy, you know what I mean.

But in Egypt its a completely different story: two strikes and you’re out. Especially when it comes to women, upon whom the blame is laid in even the most sexist of situations. Hell, if your husband goes out and gets a second wife its YOUR fault because you didn’t give him enough sex/dress up enough/watch his favorite TV shows/insert some other really inane and bullshit reason here.

I could rant, oh could I rant, on how women get the short end of the stick in pretty much every situation here but I will restrain myself to the topic at hand.

Once a girl has been engaged twice and neither relationship works out she is stygmatized as being faulty.

Something has to be wrong with her, two men decided to not marry her. What do you mean she broke off the engagement? Hmph, she must be too picky, she’ll never be satisfied. God knows I won’t marry my son to such an ungrateful woman.

Do you see how twisted the thinking is? Can any of us imagine this? I mean engagement is the closest thing practising Muslims get to dating. What if we were stygmatized after our second boyfriend/girlfriend? Men get off a little bit easier, but it is noted when a man is a serial engager, if only by the girl he wants to get engaged to next.

Either way both Ammena and Souad are up against a wall here. Both of Ammena’s relationships were scarred by personality clashes: she is a strong-willed and opinionated woman (which is a no-no here – God forbid a woman who thinks for herself) and she has had the misfortune to get into relationships with equally strong-willed and patriarchal chauvinists (which I consider to be the true personality failings.) For her she has the choice to conform or be shunned. Currently she is still in the relationship (which has the markings of an abusive one) but is unsure whether to continue or not. I do believe her fiance will probably become a domestic abuser and he plans on moving her to Saudi Arabia after the wedding which would further deprive her of all rights. I understand her hesitance, she doesn’t have very good prospects either way but I do believe that leaving the relationship would be the lesser of two evils.

Souad, on the other hand, left both of her relationships for religious reasons. Neither of her fiance’s were at her same level of iman (think equally-yolked mom) and her desire is to find a man who will help her to become a better Muslim. She has had noble reasons for leaving but it is the same for her socially. Once it gets out that she has had two failed engagements she will be marked for life. She made the decision to leave, but she second-guesses herself on whether she made the right choice. I think, overall, the situation for her will be a little bit better in terms of explaining to future prospects why she left her previous fiances. Assuming she does find a man with the proper level of iman, he would understand why religion came first for her over fulfilling societal expectations.

Both women are in painful situations placed upon them by the insubstantial and unfounded beliefs of a rigid and critical society.

Even in baseball you at least get three tries.