7 responses to “Disillusionment

  1. Assalaamu alaikum 🙂

    Don’t feel too down about this. Actually I just read an article that basically addresses everything you just wrote:


  2. This was a great link, thank you. It definitely had some good advice for me in it and I appreciate that you shared it.

    I guess I feel that desiring to have a stable home life isn;t placing too much emphasis on dunya though. Allahu 3alem. It shouldn’t be impossible for men to stay faithful, or for people to not be unstable. I’m not devastated when a friendship ends, but I always thought that I could at least count on my mate.

  3. Things can definitely seem so bad out there… I just recently figured out that people are not all good! I stayed naive about this for so long… In my case probably because of how great a family I had, I had no idea this was not how almost everyone is.

    BUT I think that for all the families that seem perfect that aren’t there are families that are a lot better than they seem… They might just be a bit more transparent. Me and my husband had a bunch of problems and it wasn’t a secret from the world but he is a faithful and dedicated husband. And a caring father.

    All is not lost even if there are lots of assholes out there!!

  4. Every marriage is different and people hurt and let down each other regardless of their religion. Muslim relationships are not immnue from the rest of marriages. My father is my role model, he is loyal to my mother and they are good friends, they have been married over 30 years. I have been married for five years and happy, inshallah that will not change.

  5. Assalaamu’Alaykum,
    I say, if you’ve got no reason to doubt the shape of your marriage, then don’t let things in other peoples’ household mess up your peace of mind. If your husband was someone who was not capable of sustaining the vision you have of him, then he would have revealed that by now.

    I don’t know you, but I know enough about the power of self-doubt and speculation to know that some things become self-fulfilling prophecies just by the sheer weight of the speculation.

    Good luck, and may Allah always keep your marriage strong. Ameen.

  6. Salaams.

    MashAllah your husband is a good man and inshAllah he will always remain so. Perhaps you just need to step outside the usual circle of people you have been running into, those who are bringing you down, and meet new other people.

  7. Salaam,
    I am saddened to hear that you have been disillusioned by some fellow Muslim families. But let me just tell you that it is not a struggle isolated to someone in your unique situation. My husband and I have family nearby, and Alhamdulillah there is lots of love to share with them and we try to take time to see them as much as we can. But we still struggle to find other Muslim couples who we can relate to. A couple we can talk to so that the conversation does not center around mindless things such as the latest gossip or movie, a couple with which we can openly discuss current issues and that enjoys the same pursuits of duniya that we do, but that they aren’t so far removed from religion that they understand the importance of planning activities between salat times, or stopping whatever we are doing to perform salat, whether it be at someone’s house or at the side of the road. That balance is hard to find, but we always try to remember to be kind towards all fellow Muslims we meet, because they may be traits that we dislike in them, but their imaan may still be stronger than ours.

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