I’ve been so focused on other things recently that I really have neglected this blog. I feel uninspired and uninspiring so I didn’t know what there was to blog about.
I’m focusing on writing and reading and searching for jobs and as of tomorrow I will be gainfully employed- thank GOD! It is only a temp job doing the same thing I was doing when I started this blog two years ago- so that kind of sucks. However its work and its money and I can always continue looking for a professional job. InshAllah.
I have so much on my mind, so much that I’m holding my breath for, that there is not much room left.
I’m taking a continuing ed class in writing. Its actually too easy- meant for those who have never written before- but its something to do.
I’m still studying for the GREs but that’s fallen a bit off to the side.
The man is studying all of his stuff and I’m trying to be there to support him in that.
What am I doing? I don’t know. Its not that I’m depressed really cuz I’m not. Its more that I’m so anxious… no. Not that either.
I don’t know.
THAT’s my problem. I just don’t know.
I think its that I don’t know if I’m going to get into the program.
And if I don’t get into the program I just don’t know what I’m going to do.
I don’t know if I’m going to find a professional job. And if I do I don’t know if I’m going to like it.
I don’t know if Mr. MM is going to get into the program he’s going to be applying for and if he doesn’t I don’t know what we’re going to do.
Its so huge. They’re so monstrous.
I DON’T KNOW.
Its a huge chasm that I can’t get around.
I can just pray through it.