In spite of the fact that I did not sleep much last night I am still up and sleepless tonight. Why? I don’t know, but I’m uneasy.
I’m nervous about moving home, nervous about how we’ll do there, nervous about how I’ll feel there, nervous about how much I’ve changed.
I’m worried about culture shock for Mr. MM and re-entry shock for me.
I’m so excited to go home, believe me. I’m so excited to see my family and friends.
I think a part of it is that so much of my life before this was “just for now” and going back to the US is going to be “reality” or “forever.” We were so unsettled before this and now we have to figure out this whole settling thing- jobs, life, responsibility, real repercussions.
We have so much to do yet here, and so little time- while in the same instant if we needed we could have everything done in two days. Its the good-byes; I want more time for good-byes.
My nieces and nephews will not be this age forever and having only married Mr. MM two years ago I already missed so much of their lives. Will the twins remember us the next time we see them? Will they remember rolling around on the bed with Mr. MM and I tag-team tickling them? Will Ganna remember that she’s mine and Nour remember that she’s Mr. MM’s?
Yaso won’t remember us at all, he’s much too young.
How long will it be before we see them again? Its just so hard.
I don’t want to live here but I don’t want to say good-bye.
I’m sad, and I’m worried. I’m sweating- physically and mentally.
Its hot here, like crazy hot. A huge part of me is glad we won’t be here for Ramadan cuz I can barely stand cooking in this heat while not fasting- I can’t imagine doing it while thirsty. No. Thanks.
I never imagined that I could sweat from that many parts of my body. Seriously. I now sweat in places I’ve never sweated before and I’ve actually gotten used to being so sweaty that my clothes are drenched.
Sexy sexy, right?
But for real, I never liked to sweat before- not that I like it now believe me- and I would always cease and desist whatever action made me sweat in the first place. Unfortunately I cannot cease and desist being in Cairo (at least not until August 5th) so I have to just sweat. And sweat.
Alternately I wonder how Mr. MM will enjoy being in a place where sweating profusely is by choice and mostly done in a gym.
Zuzu is doing good. There’s so much random stuff about her I want to blog on like how she’s gotten so big and that she’s become really vocal with me again. We ‘talk’ back and forth again and most of her interaction with me is punctuated by trills, chortles, and copious meowing. Except her WTF face when she watches me shower or take baths. She is fascinated with the concept and yet hates water. Also she likes to rub up against me when I’ve just gotten out and my legs are still wet. Then she runs away complaining about the water. Every shower. As soon as I step out I hear her in the doorway chortling and chirping and if I -how dare I?- shut the door she yowls outside until I open it.
We were able to exchange the carrier, thank God. This one now is the right size but SO SMALL. I just feel horrible putting Zuzu in it for 12 freaking hours. We also bought a craptastic kitty leash for way too much money. I think I’ll be returning it if I can find another one. Putting it on her was HILARIOUS. At one point she was literally turning sommersaults in the air trying to get it off. I have to get her a better one though, for real. It is just not going to work for us.
Right now she is playing with her beloved bottle caps, I think her life will be so empty in the states without tile flooring and cheap bits of plastic. I hope that jingle balls on carpet will help to fill the void but I’ll be bringing a stash of hayah bottle tops back with me because those are her favorites, no lie.
Also the Barefoot Empress witnessed her playing fetch with me this evening. I have witnesses that Zuzu plays with me like a puppy.
Zuzu also tries to climb into our luggage; she particularly likes it when the top is down and there are clothes piled on top so she has to dig her way in. Is this normal cat behaviour? All we will see is the mound of clothes on top quivering, the luggage shaking, and Zuzu’s hind end sticking out.
Yes we have attempted to zip her up inside, and no we have not succeeded. She’s too quick. Right now she is trying to work the zipper so she can get into one of the bags; if she had opposable thumbs we would be in trouble.
Hahaha, I just remembered one time that we had an empty suitcase standing up and she climbed on and somehow managed to tip it over on top of her so she was trapped inside. I had no idea what had made the suitcase fall until I heard her pitiful cries coming from inside.
Ah, I may have bored some of you to tears by talking way too much about my cat but it was theraputic enough for me to now think about going to sleep.
First of course I will be tossing B’rincess Zuzu out of the room with her clackity clacking bottle caps.