The Diary of an Invalid

It sucks being sick enough to not want to move but not sick enough to be constantly sleeping and/or out of it. It just means I’m sitting here flipping through channels of nothings-on-tv and waiting while the wireless floats in and out. So annoying.

Sometimes I weird myself out. Like more and more now the little narrator voice in my head has a British accent. I suck at accents, I couldn’t fake an accent other than my own to save my life but years and years of foreign language acquisition has made me easily succeptible to changing my accent to match the ones I hear. So I can’t fake an accent but my accent changes depending on who I am around for extended periods of time. I think the narrator voice soemtimes, or actually a lot of the time, has a British accent because all of the narrators on TV are British. Commercials are voiced by Brits and all shows on Discovery, Animal Planet, and other documentary-type series are voiced by Brits. This is the most immersed in British accents that I’ve ever been in my life.

I also find that I say things that are British and while I don’t have a British accent perse a lot of what I say comes out sounding British. Like I’ve started doing the ‘yea?’ thing when I speak. Such as: “So I walked to the souq, yea?, and I saw the weirdest thing ever, yea?, you won’t even guess what it was.” Also I have picked up a little on the British speaking cadence, add that into having to speak overly articulate English and I’ve just developed an odd accent.

The Englyptian was at my house the other day and we were chatting while I cooked pancakes and all of a sudden she said to me, “sometimes you sound like an Egyptian. Like you speak English like an Egyptian, like you have an Egyptian accent when you speak English.”

Oh… fabulous.

I mean thats just great right? I’ve picked up an accent as if I were not a native speaker of English. Thats everyone’s dream right?


I guess I can see what she means, I do sometimes do that and I think my mom mentioned it when she was here. She commented on my weird accent. I think the Englyptian may have been swayed by the fact that when I’m comfortable around someone I mix Arabic with English. Its so easy to do here because Egyptians who speak English will mix Arabic filler words in. Words like “khalas, ya3ani, bas keda, w eh?, tab meshi, etc.” I do that, I know.

Again, accent acquisition is something I do without realizing it. I don’t think its possible for me to be around an accent without picking it up, even if I don’t want to. So a year of living here, speaking mainly with Egyptians, or with Mr. MM who mixes Arabic and English, and British narrators on TV its a bloody miracle I still sound like me at all.


Dr. Mom has me on a clear liquid diet. I fudged a bit and put milk in my tea. So naughty. Its great having an NP for a mom, really, considering I won’t have health insurance when I go back to the states I’ll be able to have her diagnose me. It will royally suck to not be able to call the pharmacy and get rx meds without an rx like we can here though. Its pretty awesome here for that. Mr. MM is all for having mom be the PCP for our kids in the future. I have to admit that I like that idea too. But not a PCP for me, no, I mean can you imagine having your mom do your pelvic exam? I’m sure she’d be as uncomfortable with that as I am. I wonder if NP’s and Dr’s are allowed to be the PCP’s for relatives, like maybe it would be considered a conflict of interest?

Anyway, she told me clear liquids, nothing solid. Yay… Considering I haven’t actually eaten in about 16 hours I should be more interested in the bowl of broth I just made… I’m not.

I considered making some indomie but I really don’t need all that salt and preservatives. At least I make tasty broth.

I smell like the swamp thing. I think I need to take a shower. I don’t know if I have the energy though, I used up my last bits of strength cooking the broth and going back and forth from the bathroom. I should just tether myself to the toilet. Too bad it doesn’t recline like a lay-z-boy. This is a paragraph of sentence fragments.

I think I should stop, I’m just rambling by this point. I shall enjoy my broth, which is going down much better than I thought it would, and go back to channel surfing.


4 responses to “The Diary of an Invalid

  1. I had a Russian friend and after a bit, I started thinking in her accent. It was weird! I couldn’t immitate it at all, but I thought with it. haha.

    Hope you feel better really soon, Molly

  2. I’ve picked up a few British things like saying a bit of that or “wobbly bits” lol. It’s from associating with Brits and from the tv. So weird to me that I’ll say mobile now not cell phone too.

  3. Hope that you will feel better soon InshaAllah.

    I was away from the US for 8 years and didn’t have any contacts with Americans for much of the time and I forgot how to speak English. I would speak broken English because that is what I would be talking all of the time.

    After visiting my family and friends in Texas I was able to “relearn” my Texas accent and would say “y’all” , tamaytahs, taters, etc…and my kids thought that I was talking funny. It went away after a while. 🙂

    For a long time I would refuse to say “mobile” because that wasn’t how an American would say it. They would say “cell phone” but then I noticed that they are started (or have been)saying mobile now. 🙂

    Hope you get a lot of rest.


  4. The accent is cool with me. It’s when I catch myself using english-as-a-second-language grammar that I just want to back up and smack myself. :p

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