I posted a lot, pre-expat, on how I did not romanticize Egypt and moving to Egypt. Yes I posted about missing parts of it, but thats different from thinking I was entering the “holy lands of Islam” and streets of gold, pious Muslims all around me, and a chorus of angels waiting for my every footstep.
I knew that it was not like that but I did NOT know how far from it this place actually is.
I know many convert sisters who are married to Egyptians back home, and I now know of many who blog, and I hear from them how they think that moving here is going to be the greatest thing for their Islam since they converted.
Now, to each their own, but I’m going to be honest: people here fight everyday simply for an acknowledgment of their DIGNITY and human rights. Forget Islam. Forget religion.
Dignity and recognition as a human being.
And you know what, they usually don’t get it. Not from the Egyptian government. Not from their fellow Egyptians.
I was in a coversation over dinner the other day with Mr. MM and his best friend M. Adel about Egypt. M. Adel asked me if I liked Egypt and I answered truthfully: no. He nodded and said, “I hate Egypt, I hate living here. Egypt is doing its hardest to push out its own sons. People in India leave India in order to eat, Egyptians leave Egypt in order to find dignity.”
I do not know of anyone who loves living here, and if they do still feel love for their home country they do not have love for Cairo, the government, or the people.
The only ones I know of who actually have a rose-colored idea of what Egypt is are the bright-eyed converts and their husbands. And what really makes me wonder are the husbands: they’ve lived here, they know how it is, is it just that they have been away for so long that the only thing they remember are the golden memories of their childhood?
So, if you’re a convert coming here because you have an idea that Egypt is some golden land of Islamic opportunity, don’t. If you have a somewhat more realistic view of the country but want to learn Arabic or study fiqh/deen/etc., ok but I highly advise you to make it short-term stay.
For those of you who want to give a better life for your children, please please please I beg you to reconsider. Because that part about the children is what really freaks me out.
Why?
The schooling here is sub-standard. Highly, highly sub-standard. And if you actually want a DECENT education for your children, where do you find it? In CHRISTIAN-RUN SCHOOLS that cost more than a University education in the United States.
Yes, listen to me. The only decent schools in Cairo are CHRISTIAN. You will find yourself leaving the Christian country of your birth only to enroll your children in Christian schools here.
Saint Fatima is the top school in EGYPT and is run on an IGSCE British system. And even then they still go by the Egyptian method of study: memorizing entire text and then testing on the minutest details. Nothing is done by rhetoric and application of the ideas. I think this is part of the fundamental flaw of Egyptian society: the inability to apply concepts. Think about it.
All of the other schools that are half-way decent are British-run or American-run and are certainly not “Muslim.” And there are no religious schools that give children decent educations other than in religious things. You want your child to be a haafiz and know fiqh and lots of du’as? Thats great. Do you want them to have an actual education that they can get a job with? You won’t find it there.
Jobs. You want your child to have a shot at finding a good-paying job? It probably will not be in Egypt. But if you send them to a religious school there is no way that they are going to get a decent job.
The only University in Cairo that is recognized by the US is the American University of Cairo, but the cost of that school is twice a normal US University education. There are also the British Uni of Cairo and the German Uni of Cairo, both of which I believe are accredited from their home countries, but facing the facts: your child will be severely limited in his or her life choices.
And then looking at the society in Egypt. I love my in-laws and I love my friends here. One thing that you cannot argue is that Egyptians have big hearts and big smiles, but I have found that religion is taken for granted. Its normal to be Muslim. Do you do things that are purely cultural and not in Islam? But you’re Muslim right? Then it must be Islam.
For me I found truer Muslims and truer Islam in the mosques of Saint Paul Minnesota than I have found here.
And all of this, its not even scratching the surface. The government is a dictatorship under which the people have no rights. The police are not there to help you, but to keep you under control. The health system is severely sub-par and the only decent hospitals are extremely expensive.
Are you a niqabi? You will be banned from entering many places. Do you have a big beard? You will be harrassed by the police and denied jobs unless you shave.
This is not a promised land or a holy land.
I love Egypt, I love the idea of it, I love it for being the homeland of Mr. MM. I also love it because of the heart that I see beneath the decay. Egypt was once a great nation and God willing will be a great nation again, but right now even those who were born to Umm ad-Dunya are leaving her for the world outside.
Do you still want to/plan on moving to Egypt? Ok, just one last piece of advice:
Do not move to Cairo. Its crowded and filled with the worst of humanity- not because the people in it are inhumane but because its so crowded and people are so desperate that they will willingly cut you down if it will further them by one step.
Alexandria is much more peaceful, or even living in the areas outside of Cairo is preferrable to living in Cairo.
But please, consider it deeply before choosing. Come and stay here for five months to get a feel of how it really is. Do some research into schools. Just, think very very hard because if you come here with a romanticized notion you will very quickly be stripped of your illusions and left naked and bleeding.
It is an unforgiving world.
Confessions of a Multicultural Muslimah 
Assalamu alaykum
Well, I hate Egypt as much as the next gal. But I would disagree that a non-Islamic country is better. I, for one have a son being raised in that environment and it is impossible to teach him not to follow that lifestyle. I have heard as well that many Muslim parents complaining of their children seeing how all the others are living and ask them, “Why do we have to be Muslim?” I think it is a huge huge huge fitnah to be amongst an environment that generally has no religion, and oftentimes HATES Islam because of its backwardness. I fully believe the opportunity to find Islam and practice it here is better and would never want my children raised in Canada or anywhere else in shaa Allah but an Islamic country – even one like this. And the West is going down the toilet just as the life here is, because when I was in elementary school the kids MIGHT have smoked, but now they are getting it on early and even smoking crack, and many young kids even bring weapons. And we are not talking inner city here. So I would have to strongly disagree, but thats just me 🙂 I hope the best for you wherever you are, sister.
Oh, and about the niqab/beard thing I have heard that but to be honest me and my husband have never experienced that in the almost 2 yrs of being here — although I do agree it exists, but I personally have never had any problems. In fact I hear more problems of niqabis and beards in the West, especially these days.
and its definately romanticizing egypt and islam in general. ive written posts about it a few times. the dreaminess, the wish for a “muslim country”. even visiting the country doesnt allow one to really KNOW what living there would be like. i do happen to know a handful of ex pats who have great lives there and love it but they also have exceptional jobs and money!! money makes all the difference in the world there but we know thats scarce for the common folk. why else do so many egy seek to get out and make a living!!
wonderful place to visit..short term as you said!! but i wouldnt want my daughter to have to struggle daily there.
Umm Travis- I agree with you in principle. I guess I’m writing from the stand point of whats available in Minneapolis Minnesota. We have private Islamic schools and even Islamic Charter schools that offer the benefits of a Muslim environment with the benefits of an American education.
It is possible to educate your children Islamically in a non-Muslim country. I believe there are better choices in the states than there are here.
Jana- Money makes ALL the difference. Another thing about Egypt though is that if you are a big-baller or you have wealth you are forced to rub elbows with the wicked and corrupt politicians and businessmen. Otherwise if you’re not WITH them you are AGAINST them and they will cause you problems.
But yes, having money makes a super huge difference.
I was in Egypt for 7 months and I feel the same way as you do. Although it’s definitely easier to practice Islam in Egypt than it is here, it’s probably not worth it for the lack of decent education. My husband is Egyptian and sometimes I feel like I can’t have a decent conversation. Yes, it’s in part because English isn’t his first language, but I often feels like he just can’t apply concepts, as you mentionned. And the government has him partly brainwashed too. He actually believes that the Bahais in Egypt should not have rights because they are not Jewish, Christian or Muslim. Anyway, it just all seems so backwards there sometimes.
And we have some Islamic schools here too so I think that’s the best option. I strongly disagree with Umm Travis that Egypt is an Islamic country! It just has a Muslim majority and lots of mosques.
As-salamu ‘alaikom~
In all gentle intentions: I really did think you were looking at Egypt through rose-colored glasses prior to moving, but I think reality has dealt the vision a hefty enough blow for you now to be seeing things through the darkest of lenses. Life, and truth, is in between these extremes.
Exactly. What constitutes an “Islamic Country”? Because the majority are born into a Muslim Family? You can’t go by that because a huge % of people do not practice and few behave like true Muslims should. And yea. If you have bags and bags of $$ then it is waaaaaaaaay easier to live here.
It IS absolutely possible to raise good Muslim children in the west. It is hard, but it’s hard here too. Kids do drugs and have sex but it’s just not talked about.
The first time I met my husband’s best friend, we went out in his car and he went to buy beer, drinking while driving… and he had some slutty girl with him. And by the end of our time with him that night, he was getting a blowjob as he drove. I was seriously appalled. I’ve never been in this sort of situation before in Canada, nothing even close!! My husband wonders why I hate his friend. The next times we went out, he had 2 slutty girls with him… I stayed away from him as much as I could while I was there… Good thing I trust my husband with his friend and the slutty girls that hang out with him.
I was raised in a rural area. I was taught not to party and sleep around while most of my classmates (even the “church going” ones) did just that (and worse) and on a regular basis. I went to public school and had non-religious friends, but it was because of familial influence that I didn’t partake in these activities. Did I ask things like, “Why can my friends wear spaghetti strap tank tops and I can’t?” or “Why can’t I go to the party with no parents? _____ is going!! Don’t you trust me?!”? YEAH. All the time!! But I was told simply this: we’re a different family, and you’re different from all of them. Yeah, it pissed me off from time to time, but when I got older, I got the point.
I strongly disagree that raising a kid not to follow a lifestyle of his peers and media influence is impossible, because I, and many, MANY of my friends are living proof. I do, however, very strongly believe that, yes, it will take more effort to raise a good Muslim child – not just in a non-Muslim country, but anywhere. (And anyway whoever said raising children should be easy? Stress-free?)
I think many Muslim parents are fooled into thinking that an Islamic environment/country will simply encourage Islamic behavior in their children. That’s certainly not true.
I teach Islamic studies school on the weekends, and people assume that because they home school or send their kids to us and only allow them to have Muslim friends that they’re doing enough. The truth is out of 18, 12-13 year-old students, I have six students who cannot read or recite Al-Fatiha. Two are Pakistani sisters raised in the US, one is a FOB (fresh of the boat) Pakistani, one is Syrian raised in UAE until she was 10, and two are FOB Egyptians. These girls happen to attend a home school group taught by Arabic Muslim tutors because their parents dislike public schools. While a few of my other students attend this group, the majority of my girls attend public school. While this situation may not be typical, it’s certainly enough to make me raise an eyebrow.
People might think it’s “easier” to raise strong, religious Muslim kids in a Muslim country or at least immersed in a Muslim environment, but growing up in a college town with massive international enrollment, I’ve seen with my own eyes and have heard many-a-story about how well most of those home-grown Muslims behave when Mommy and Daddy have their backs turned. I’m not just talking about what goes on while they’re studying here – I’m talking about all the “fond memories” they share about “back home.” They talk about all the “secret” boyfriends and girlfriends, or how they stole their dad’s cigarettes – whatever.
While I’ve seen derailed raised-in-the-US “Muslim” kids, I’ve seen even more of pious Muslims variety that are born and raised against all odds in the not-so-sheltered States. Honestly, of all the Muslims I know, as a whole, they’re the strongest in their deen. I believe it’s because they’ve had to be. Islam was more emphasized in their lives because their parents didn’t just “assume” their children just knew or were being taught in Islamic school, but rather that they had to be outright examples of Islam and educate their children on a daily basis. Their children have to, and do learn to separate themselves from “Islamic culture” where “everyone is doing it so you should too” or “it’s just the right thing to do”, and rather delve into a life of intentional Islamic practice that requires focus and study.
I converted long before I got hitched, and I knew/know several Arabs and Muslims from many different countries. Let me just say, while my rejection list wasn’t Egypt exclusive, there are definitely several reasons why I said, “I’ll NEVER marry an Egyptian.” Well, here I am, 1.5 years into marriage to an Alexandrian and pregnant with our first baby (ha!). My husband and I joke about my aforementioned reasons and to my surprised and unfortunately, he agrees. My Mr. B is fresh off a three week visit to the homeland which has only solidified his stance: we will never live in Egypt unless there is a nuclear holocaust that wipes many other inhabitable countries off the map.
I’m not a nationalist by any means, so please don’t call me biased. I hate, HATE what my country and countrymen have done in the past and many things they continue to do. However, I would prefer by far, as a Muslim, to live in a non-Muslim country under a non-Muslim, secular government rather than live in a “Muslim” country with corrupted “Muslim” leaders who do nothing but oppress and spit in the face of Muslims and Islamic values. Nothing disgusts me more than Muslims in power with a multitude of wealth who not only disregard Islam and its practice while still calling themselves Muslims, but outright live against and practice against Islam’s standards.
Amen sista. Very well said, thats exactly my point.
Assalam alaikum,
I have to say Molly reading your blog sometimes I feel like Im over there with you, masha’allah. Im posting because I am one of those sisters who is contemplating going to Egypt with my kids for some time. I know many sisters from our community that have gone to live in Al-Rehab City and they have told me that they like it and so do there kids. I have met and read about others who live in Cairo and say they don’t like it and one sister from Rehab said that she would probably go back to the States as well if she had to live in the city.
Is Al Rehab all that different from the rest of Egypt?