23 responses to “Desperate Housewife

  1. Salaams sis well as you know being a housewife is a job in itself and looking after the household and caring for the husband and children is an act of virtue initself. Sometimes we just hve to be content with our situation and hankering after more causes frustrations and anxiety.

    Have you spoken to your husband about this? Maybe you just need a little time out from your normal day to day routine perhaps a voulountary job or something? You just need a little change. Gods wise we have to be content with what we have and perhaps a little prayer to God can solve your poblems.

    If your husband can afford the maid then well and good but nowadays these maids of old have been replaced by Washing machines, dish washers, vacuum cleaners, etc…these should be provided to you to help cut down on your burdens and make life easier.

    I’ll wait to read your reply.

    Ma salams

  2. Majness, yes being a housewife is more than a full-time job. Housewives work 24/7.

    Unfortunately all the things you’ve listed as things that have replaced maids are things I don’t have. Minus the washing machine. But i absolutely completely agree with you that a dishwasher would help immensely.

    Mr MM honey, are you reading this???

  3. Take pride in being a mother and wife. Think of yourself as the “Queen of your Palace” A great responsibility is also on your shoulders, the mothers lap is the first school, Mums gave birth to Prophets such as Jesus, Moses, Muhammad alayhis salaams, etc.

    You are the nucleus of your home and family..your the one who keeps it all together.

    But yes thats why us men need to provide comforts to our wives and make sure your always with peace of mind and tranquility so that you can excel at what you do. And Obviously we need to make sure we take you out etc.. basically we need to look after your body, mind and souls.

    Ma salams

  4. btw im new to wordpress so I need some conections ie nice muslim bloggers to read if you know any please let me know. Jazakallah

  5. I was a housewife for quite a few years. I took care of my small son, my home, my husband and went to school part time. Now that I am forced to work, I wold give anything ANYTHING for the ability to stay at home with my son who needs me so much.

    I get so annoyed when people in our local community complain. Women complain because their husband’s dont help the way they want or men complain because they want to sleep when their children want to play. I get annoyed because I am doing all the things that both the man and woman have to do but without any of the help or free time. It sucks. Alhamdulillah. I don’t think I will ever be a housewife again, but I am looking f0rward to the day my husband comes home and I can get a little bit of that peace back inshaAllah.

    sorry for hijacking your comment section. this post just brought out a lot of emotions….

  6. Ah this is a tough situation.

    You can’t be a good housewife in a week, or a month.. maybe it will take time to get used to it? Don’t get stressed that you can’t do EVERYTHING in the house, take your time to get used to it and hopefully your husband will understand.

    And don’t give up on finding a job, think of all the interviews as learned experiences you’ll use when you’re nailing your real job.

    Gee an optimistic comment from me, you should be grateful hahha.. good luck anyway!

  7. What do you know?
    I was just discussing this same topic with a friend of mine. Although we would both love to stay at home, we both need the stimulation that comes from working outside the home. Being a housewife simply is not for everyone.

  8. Umabdurrahman- inshAllah your husband can come back soon, I always remember you guys in my prayers. Some people, like you, loved being a housewife, but I don’t and I don’t think I ever really will. I think its a personality trait, staying home drives me batty. Now, I do want to stay home while all of my children are young, but once they go to school I know I will want to be out there again.

    Maj’ness, your comments are very sweet, but I get the feeling that you’re one of those men who think that the only place for women is in the home. I have a lot to contribute to the world, and yes being a wife and mother is one of those contributions, but I have so many others as well and staying home all the time isn’t going to accomplish my goals.

    I AM an important part of my home, and when I have children inshAllah I will be a large and important part of their lives, but I don’t want to limit myself to only this. I can do great things, and inshAllah I will.

    Ali- thanks for the optimism, I do have a wonderful husband alhumdulillah who understands.

    Hmm… off to apply for some more positions.

  9. Exactly Solace! Oh thank God someone else is here who agrees with me.

    I need to feel like I’m doing more in my life than just taking care of a house and kids.

  10. No Molly thats not what I mean. All i meant to try and say is one way of happiness is to be happy with the will of God otherwise we get frustrated and anxious.

    And Muslim ladies in the past were more than just housewives…as long as what we do involves no sin anything is ok.

  11. Ah, I see what you mean. I do my best to accept everything as the will of God and to say alhumdulillah. But after the umpteenth millionth bad interview or bad position I’m getting a little down in the mouth.

    *sigh*

  12. Can you go back to school for something that is more employable in your environment? Or go to Graduate school or whatever? That might make the job stakes more in your favor. Do what you can to make the job come to you if it aint happeneing the other way around.

    I know Egyptian Professional women who are doing very well and happy with thier lives as they choose to lead them.

    Do what makes you happy. The rest will come around if you are smart about it.

    Sadiyah

  13. Molly you see I want more children and I was fortunate enough to stay home with my little one. I wouldn’t say I loved it, but I felt good doing it. I love the money and socialization that comes along with being employed BUT I just hate my current situations.

  14. assalamu alaykum… just a reminder… sometimes we may hate something that is good for us, and sometimes we may like something that is bad for us… only Allah knows. The best thing to do is accept whatever Allah wills, and think of it as a test to overcome. In shaa Allah, this too will pass and you will be better off for it.. in shaa Allah.

    Hang in there…

  15. Umm travis do u have a blog? I love your website. subhanallah.

  16. jazackallah khair… i have many blogs lol, all for women and all listed on my website 🙂

  17. Molly – you will find that job and you will get out of this funk, insha’allaah. I can tell you it made a world of difference to me and I really, really struggled in the beginning of coming here. It was tough, to say the least.

    Ever thought about tutoring at home until something comes along – just for a little bit of pocket change, ya know!

    Take baby steps when it comes to cleaning – check out flylady.com.

    And the tile – oh how I despise this tile and marble, but it’s way more sanitary than to have carpets in this ball of dust…

  18. I think you should get a hobby. Something you enjoy to take a break from the 24/7 job of being at home. When you stay at home all day, you’ll get cabin fever. You should “work” at home by doing some chores and then get out of the envrionment for a little bit. Going out to exercise, talk in a book club, go shopping, make clay pots, paint, or anything will help. It will help relax you and get your mind off of being at home.

  19. Oh girl, do I ever feel you on this issue.
    I’ve been looking for a job for quite some time, and my “housewife skills” are useless. I’m depressed because I’m bored, and no, being bored does not constitute wanting to clean.
    Then when my house is not clean, I feel even more like crap, and so the story goes. When I was working I felt more structured, so I could fit in everything I needed to do.
    Now that I wake up, though my purpose in life should be to clean, I just feel sluggish and blah.
    I’m trying to create some sort of structure for myself, but I find it difficult to do that when it’s all pretend.
    I’ve never been “awesome” at cleaning like some people – though I wish I had the drive to just be anal about cleaning because that’s what I like. However, maybe it’s the “nesting” thing people tell me about, but since I’ve been pregnant, strangely enough, I find myself wanting to clean more often. Weird, I know. And no, I’m not advocating babies as a form of self-motivation – you’ve got enough of that pressure!!
    Love you, babes. Ma’salaama

  20. Salaam Molly.

    May I ask what do you do with your time when you stay at home apart from the housework?

    I think you need to have an objective or a goal outside of housework. Maybe an online job, or doing freelance writing or something that stimulates your mind. How about writing a book about your experiences in Cairo from an American’s perspective?

    When you have something to look forward to that you are also passionate about, then the housework becomes yet another chore and not your whole life.

    Even with maids around, we sometimes have to do some form of housework around the house. It’s not always avoidable. And that is a good thing too, or we’d be just dependent on others for everything.

    Try not see yourself as just a “housewife”; changing that mindset will help you find something you can want to be proud of.

    God willing, it will help.

  21. Assalaamu aleikum
    I wandered over from Oy, habibti’s blog and like what I see so far 🙂
    I can really empathize with your post. Domesticity just isn’t my thing. Some women excel at it and love it, and if they are happy, I say all power to them. For those that are not, I think we shouldn’t be judged solely by the standards of domestic engineering ability (or lack thereof). Women need women in professional roles (doctors, teachers, etc) and some women need something beyond housework for self-fulfilment (read: sanity).
    Have you considered volunteer work? or telecommuting?
    Hope you have found a way out of your funk.

  22. Pingback: Oh Happy Day « The Expat Confessions of a Multicultural Muslimah

  23. Being a housewife definitely isn’t for everyone and I think that getting a job and finding a maid is a great idea! Hope you manage to find a good position. I know I couldn’t be a housewife either… What I would wish would be to have a part-time job and be able to spend more time with my daughter and at home, but right now I’m the full support… My daughter gets babysat while I work full time to pay the bills and I still have to do everything around the house and for my daughter… Makes me wish I could be a housewife! lol. But definitely, I would not wish to be a housewife always. Too lonely for me.

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